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What do you actually do for work?

By J.A. HaglApril 19, 2017

Group talking
Group talking

“Hi, my name is Janet. I’m an actor-producer-aeronautical engineer-elephant breeder.”

“Oh, that’s really cool!” Caleb exclaimed. “When did you take up elephant breeding? I’ve always been interested in white rhino breeding but wasn’t sure if I could balance it with my singer-Instagram specialist-burrito creator career.”

“Well, I just wasn’t feeling like I was contributing enough to society,” the petite Houstonian-via Greater LA-via South Dakota replied. “To be honest, my work as an actor on off-off-off-off Broadway was not doing much for my creative fulfillment. And producing low budget films for a media company felt like I was working for the man.”

 “Yeah, but how does that work with the aeronautical engineering?” asked Elizabeth. Elizabeth is asking because she’s a writer-wedding planner-efficiency designer looking to expand her career aspirations to a science field.

“Since it’s small scale aeronautical engineering— think 2”-by-5” planes and 2”-by-2” stealth bombers. It makes it much easier to pursue multiple careers,” Janet knowingly said. “Managing multiple careers is much easier when they are not as time-consuming. Who do you create burritos for?”

“It’s for a select group that prefers more adventurous food pairing,” he explained. “I’m hoping for another burrito creation in the next few days. I love singing and creating buzz-worthy content for Instagram but man burrito creation is where my passion lies.”

“I’m so happy that you’ve found your passion,” Elizabeth said. “When I found out how efficiency design made my heart pitter-patter, it brought an added zest to my life.”

“What exactly is efficiency designing?” Caleb asked.

“I help clients utilize space, time and money to be as efficiently as possible by providing custom solutions,” Elizabeth, call-me-Liz-for-short, said.

“That’s so heartwarming!” Janet added. “ Where do you work?”

“The storage section of Ikea.” Liz truthfully answered.

“Oh.” Caleb and Janet quipped in unison.

“Wait, Janet isn’t 2”-by-5” awfully small? Are those toys?” Liz retorted.

“Actually, they’re origami paper products designed to fly,” Janet responded. “They were featured in several short films.”

“The same company you produce and act for?” Caleb teased.

“Yes, one and only JANABS Films,” Janet proudly said.

“J-A-N-A-B-S—that’s the first three letters of your first and last names? Wait, is that your YouTube channel?” Liz was genuinely confused.

“Yes, it’s a growing business and YouTube has such low overhead costs,” Janet admitted.

“LOL.” Caleb cracked up.

“You work for Chipotle,” Liz defended Janet, who moments earlier had been mocking her career choices.

“Yeah, but for headquarters where I create burritos and test them on different Instagram posts to see what works best for different audience segments.” Caleb defended himself. “I have a degree in food science and an MBA in marketing from Harvard. And I’m a front man for a band on weekends at local bars. What about your wedding planner career?”

“I’ve been married three times. I’m an expert at weddings, not at marriages,” Liz said. “But I am a published writer. What’s the elephant breeding?”

“I’m a zoologist that focuses on increasing populations of sub-Saharan African breeds,” Janet said.

“What on SIMS?” Caleb asked.