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Why oh why is dating so hard?

By Megan ChristopherJuly 12, 2017

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Looking back on pre-21st century dating, it seems so quaint and straightforward. There were only so many ways to meet a potential partner, contrary to today where there are endless apps and people to swipe through. Sometimes it feels like the odds are against us all. I recently discovered a podcast that explores this idea called Why Oh Why. Andrea Silenzi, the host and creator of the show, raises questions about dating, relationships, and sex all while navigating her own break-up and love life. 

The New York Times said about the show: "In this auditory exploration of modern love, Andrea Silenzi plays both host and subject, delving into strangers’ romantic entanglements and processing her own with the same warm, wry curiosity…”

Andrea started the show during a break-up to a man she thought was the love of her life. After two years of dating, moving in together, and heading down the path towards “forever,” the couple realized they disagreed on one major life decision: she wanted kids, he didn’t. And like that it was over. Andrea found returning to the dating world to be painful, mysterious, and more confusing than ever. The show touches on topics like what women want, what men want, Tinder v. Bumble, and being alone forever. The episodes range from humorous to contemplative, and by the end of each one, I find myself pondering questions about dating and what it is I’m really searching for. 

These episodes will get you hooked:

Ep. #8 How Will I Know
This episode focuses on the host of the show, Andrea Silenzi. She gives background on her heart-wrenching, yet inevitable, break up with her long-term boyfriend. This episode provides context for the rest of the show and figuratively draws back the curtain into Silenzi’s personal life. Listen here.

Ep. #17 Alone Forever
This episode brings up the notion of singlehood. What would happen if your friend declared their singledom forever? Is that socially acceptable; could it be? The guest on this show talks about her gradual progression towards accepting that she may very well be alone forever and how the people in her life react to that proclamation. Listen to it here.

Ep. #28 & #29 
Hotter on Bumble, Pt. 1 and 2
This is a two-parter that can be listened to together or each on its own. These two episodes delve into the mysterious world of online dating apps, specifically Bumble. Silenzi raises the question of authenticity on the apps. When signing up for a dating app, are you really seeing all your potential matches near you or are the apps’ creators carefully constructing a world that will keep you swiping? Listen to Pt. 1 here and Pt. 2 here.

Technology has changed dating, whether for the better or the worse. With all the apps out there and the internet-made-easy strange behaviors we’ve adopted from ghosting to Instagram stalking, it’s easy to become cynical. Instead of losing hope, I encourage you to cue up an episode of Why Oh Why and tell me it doesn’t make you feel comforted, or at the very least make you laugh.